Womens shampoos/conditioners: So soft and supple, lavender with a hint of daffodil and sandlewood. leaves you feeling silky smooth like you’re taking a mud bath floating on cloud.
Mens shampoos/conditioners: NEW MENS 78 IN 1 SHAMPOO CONDITIONER COMBO. SHAMPOO, CONDITIONER, TOOTHPASTE, BODY WASH, HAIR GEL, FACE SCRUB, CAR WASH, DEGREASER, ENGINE OIL, AND WHEEL BEARING LUBE ALL IN ONE. SMELL LIKE OLD SPICE, ENGINE GREASE, 98 OCTANE FUEL AND SWEAT, ALL DAY. USE IT TO WAX YOUR CAR OR ADD IT TO MILK FOR A PROTEIN SHAKE. MANLY.
what my parents heard: i hate you and i am determined to fail at life, go to prison, and bring dishonor to this family. i care about nothing except my computer and tv shows and you can just go burn in hell for all i care. also i’m pregnant.
I always laugh when somebody declares James Potter on the verge of expulsion for his pranks in fic because Malfoy was literally a Death Eater trying to kill the Headmaster and Dumbledore was like “Let’s just see if we can gently guide him away from this” I’m pretty sure the only thing that gets you expelled at Hogwarts is if you have already straight up murdered someone
Tom Riddle: *straight up murdered someone*
Dumbledore: *keeps an annoyingly close eye on*
hagrid got expelled for keeping one (1) spider under his bed
Hagrid got expelled because his spider was blamed for one (1) murder
Hagrid got expelled because he was half giant and they found a convenient excuse.
